Never had a

Never had a sister who thought I was cooler them a friend, Never had a sister who thought spending time with me mattered, Never had a sister who told others ‘she’s my sister or called across a store ‘Sis!’ Made me proud she included time with me was special!’ Wanted to share with what I

When I was fifty-six

Standing on the threshold of forty-seven, My entire world was like Jenga, You know the game like giant pixie sticks pull out the wrong one and you are doomed, Mom and I were watching TV, I on the floor at moms feet with Patches, Patches was an orange cat, Patches arrived at my cat hostel

Chapter 5, Jolly Holly

Coldest Christmas Eve in my history, Colder then after my half sister torched our laundry room December third twenty fourteen after removing all but one smoke alarm battery, Christmas early evening I spent in dad’s red Dodge pickup truck with my four kitties that survived Diana’s fire in our electric drier, Electric driers cause two

Wheezing with my youngest cat,

Its still seventy-one in my mobile home, Weird things people name stuff, Mobile was something that hung from the ceiling, Cause it moved, A mobile home one would expect wheels that propelled something forward, In Iowa its illegal for a mobile home to have wheels, So if something is removed then its name should change

Eight O nine

Still fifty-two degrees, Feels saunaish in my home, Two nights ago was cold, We were taught at the Heike’s if its summer and a yard sale has blankets or Afghans or quilts buy them, Nana’s sofa no one else wanted me included, It was flowered and very low, To give it height I suck magazine

Dark six twenty-five

Sophie’s cuddly, Chester slept front of home, October twenty-forth three days, Two years ago since my baby sister died, I will always see Ellen’s rise as unfair, To me, Her children, Her grand daughter just five then, Little Mela so much life to live yet, Six months after mom Marian Deloris Bittenger Heike escaped the

Lying noises

When a friend doesn’t get it, It wasn’t an afternoon lark! Gave me PTSD! It was being helpless, Watching a narcississ half sister steal my good name, Corrupt me crippling more then being struck by Linn Morrow’s car, Its hard to circle wagons when attacked by lies of a family member do that half sister

Oldest and youngest

Both disappointments, Mother,mom never lied or did harm, Diana a bully narcississ, Ellen mother worried all through high school, Upon Ellen’s seventeenth summer, Ellen came home at two thirty, Mom’smother was visiting, Nana the woman who sucked at rearing Diana to eight years old, Mom loved to sing, Sang Sweet Adeline Spencer,Iowa, Church, Mom sang

Just breathe

Moment by moment, Just breathe, Stars ignite, Tears fall, Just breathe, Eyes are full, Years flip by Heart aches, A giggle is heard, Just breathe, A puppy barks, A kitten purrs, A baby cries, I sigh, Those I love taken away, Alone stands I, One lesbian butch alone weeps, Just breathe,

Lonesome that’s me

Are we suppose to out live our baby sister? I missed Ellen Beth five years before my half sister crushed her, Ellen died shortly after Diana’s visit, October the twenty-ninth,twenty twenty, Four months twenty- three days after my mom my friend had a massive stroke due to codeine posining. Codine packs in Texas are not