Ash fallen heart
Saint Patty’s Day use to be full of merry,
Florence Fitzgerald cousin to Harriet Duggin or mom and I’d drive to see and sit and watch the parade
Last time I saw it was with Pat Zidlicky from Postville Iowa in dad’s red pickup 2012
The year started at Luther College
Mom and I were safe
That was the year dad died
Mom was free of worry how to pay for dad in the Good Sam
I made mom the promise again she’d never go to a nursing home
Never have to leave her home
Have to worry about loosing her rights
Die in a nursing home
That was a fake year
Mom started remembering what it was to be Marian Heike, mom was closer to time to just sitting enjoying reading her magazines.
Sounds like easy stuff not for Marian D. Bittenger Heike see girls when mom was a girl in 1945 they were taught their time was for others. My older half sister the narcississ used that everytime she wanted her way.
Mom in 2012 started buying some rings with her money and investing in coins.Mom feared Diana because Diana wanted mom’s money for Doana Lee Dudleys wants.I wish I could share the delight foing what dad got such great joy in making investments in currency.
The joy mom gleaned investing for herself and us was priceless. Diana crushed my mom Gaslighted my mom to believe all the filthy lies about Marian’s good hearted generous Gay daughter.Diana snuffed me out.It wasnt enough the crimes Diana literally got away with to financially abuse my best friend the most kindess gentles soul ever blessed with breath.
It conforts me knowing when the two over the counter pain packs Diana has placed on mom since Jan.2015 a week kill mom Nana ( moms mom Lottie Heneretta Starkey Bittenger will come and take mom safely away.)
Then Diana and her son Robert and Ellen Mathis will be sued by me for the bullying my to remove me from my family and mom’s will. Diana will one dau pay for the horrors she put my mom through.Mom told Diana 70 times a week no she did not want to move to Texas.
After removing our lock on the front door of 405 2nd street n.e. Waukon Iowa and threatening mom in a crime ridden town neither out front nor back door locked. The unlocked front door gave Diana Dudley easy access the night after Father Jim from Saint Pats came to our home to talk about steps we could take to keep mom save. Twenty four hours later we had a drier fire in an electric drier they are responsoble for %2 of all laundry room fires in US each year.
December 3rd 2014 only one of five smoke alarms went off it was the alarm on the landing to the basement. In October 2014 Diana had paid her annual harrassment visit. In 2013 and 2014 mom put in a new furnace and central air and a new roof.
No one cared about the trueth.No one even looked into the horror we endured from Diana why! I will nevet forget untill mom comes gor me the way her mom will come to collect mom.
I found out in December 2018 my favorite aunt on moms side of the family Aunt Clarian J.Bittenger Lovitt died not one of the christians could be bothered to even tell me my aunt in Spencer Iowa 94 was ill.
Who are these people? Are they all monsters like the narcississ socialpath. I’m sure Uncle Jullian and their baby girl that dued in birth came for my Clarian.I read on Youtube Val Whitewolf Media in rememberance for my aunt Clarian she took time to teach those that came to America after the Vietnam war English.Wrote for her local newspaper loved cats cared for her mom like I always did until I was pushed inder a bus.
It seems all liars need others to view themselves as the one saving someone even when mom Never needed saving from me.We always needed it from dads words funny No one cared how much we hated dad.
The little girl who grew up
In the midwest sits a little town called Laurence. There was a princesses balcony.
The princess’s name was Diana Lee. The little girl name Val thought the princess was best older sister in all the land.
The land of Iowa was flat except for one hill by Spencer Iowa. It was on that hill the little old man with goats lived. The little girl in pigtails never saw the little old man. Val never saw any goats. Mom Val’s best friend in the world told the same exact story every time they drove from Laurence to Spencer to grandma’s house.
We never called grandma grandma. When Diana was a little girl she could not say grandma all she could say was NaNa.
How odd and yet funny NaNa is like Mama which mom was never called.
Ever since Val was little it was a joke to all but Val. Watching a movie little sister Ellen would dash to the kitchen and turn in the faucett. Everybody but Val laughed. Ninety percent of Disney movies including family plot. Val spent tinkling. The lesson people should learn here is teasing is bullying. Mom always lied about that she would say people tease you because they like you. No they tease you because they see you are an easy target. This is Val ,59 self telling you this.
Any time you poke fun at someone and it hurts feelings or makes them cry that is bullying. In 2014,my older half sister went to great lengths including burning our home because she valued her life with her children and grandchildren more than our mom with her children. The family bully grown up still a bully still putting herself first.
Homeless,at 56,December 2014 after for years of false accusations verbal harassment slaundering standing by moms bed,exactly where Diana Lees fire placed mom and me. Ellen my little sister at top of her lungs doing exactly what Diana said to do Ellen yells “You are not staying in my basement!’
Bruce the sure footed goose
Waddles with purpose
the goose on the loose
Greeter Decorah’s Walmart
only long necked goose
Decorah home base
warm and friendly’Honk,honk,come
‘Honk,Honk!’ again he cries!
works at Walmart
his blue smock
seen moving side to side
to and fro
If you are lucky enough
Bruce the goose
will turn and grin
its that grin that touches this
Last year in a buggy I climbed
zooming steadfastly to my side
looping around my neck
‘Hooonk,Honch translates to
I know you are Gay but I don’t care
I like you anyway!
Love this silly goose!
Today Bruce the Goose
made a delivery
kitty litter,comet, wormer and vanilla
Old Stage coach road
the blue in his eyes
enhanced due to the smock
Bruce the goose
adopted brother of a wolf poet
Ooooooohuh! in Iowa goose
translates to Good to see you
Chesters chewing on Goldie
Thankyou Jean Huffey
I had the money to
tip a goose named
Greeter Bruce the goose.
love a.humble archivist historian named Val
Ellen was born in April of 1961,Spencer,IA. The little girl Val recalls riding up and down in the elevator with Nana like one of her absolute best memories.
Time speed away waiting for mom to have a baby. Dad was doing what he did when I was born playing pinochle with Dr. Pitlock until he was needed. Things have changed a lot that way fathers were not needed or wanted in delivery room.
Unlike with Val everything went perfect. When the little girl Val was born she was a breech baby. A breech baby is delivered backwards. Little Val had cord around her neck three times. The birth cord is how the baby breaths.
Well all was good in the elevator until the elevator stopped,Val stepped out,. Up went Nana. That was the first time fear was associated with a person. She was a nurse in a three corner hat. The person in white towered over little Val.
The height and boom of the voice from the woman in white as she asked little Val. “What are you doing here little girl? Whoosh went the elevator doors and there stood my nearly five foot stylish Nana. All was right with the world again.
Ellen was named after dad. Leon Norbert (LN),born April 11th,1961 to D. L.N.Heike and his lovely wife Marian D.Bittinger Heike.
All seemed good,If we were living in olden times Trumpets would have tooted then Whoosh Ellen first then Val had Whooping cough. Nearly lost the little girl Val just knew would be her absolute best friend. Funny the learning curve for babies.
It took no time for baby Ellen as dad called Ellen to learn from dad and Diana the shear delight of making fun of Val.
Like the song from the classic theater play South Pacific. Hate you are not born knowing it. Hate is taught.
Mine was mom. We did not have much dad saved to a jar mom saved from dads pants. Mom bought neat and special things for.use and reminders for her friends. Even the last nearly 51 years of helping mom I got to wrap what was not mine. Mom all my young life was up all night. See mom knew that no one cared more about us then she did. Every Christmas we oranges and apples they were not every day. Mom was my best best friend I learned everything that matter from mom. It truly took the horrible meanness of my half sister to see us Heike girls true present was having the woman I will probably never see and bear her say Val again.
Chester my year old in December 2017
I am not coughing anymore but Chesters board too. He is playing 3 bears. Chesters busy testing out coll places fir cat beds. I heard him busy in the kitchen and so I yelled at him. Then he was still as a sleeping mouse.
Christmas in America from 1628
for me was never
Christmas was the way I felt
reading ”littlest angel’ or
405 2nd street n.e.,Waukon,IA
full of my.moms love
the house was full of the best love
Marian D. Bittinger Heike
my mom ,best friend
every year mom would say
there will not be much this year
in.the morning with a feast fit for the wealth
in the morning everything
kept every moment a memory
all apples and oranges in socks hung by our tree
adorned with all out saved and homemade ornaments
(all tossed out by uncaring family
filled with anger and lies after a set fire in an electric drier)
the house full of delightful orders
upon the table awaiting me to set were laid
and pecan pies
baked with loving hands
each ellen,diana and I had
seven or nine presents
mom had been up all night
dad always would just go to bed
since nine years I would be up with mom
mostly until rest overcame me
Christmas was bullies dad then Diana
nothing was done fast enough for them
in later years
out to Ellens we’d go
dad would eat and leave Ellens
mom and I and Ellen
cards would come out
I recall all those times
Diana would call to pester
Ellen would say that’s just Diana
we would laugh
no one answered phone
we might take a ride my long legs and I would be crammed in back seat
even when it was my vehical
who knew when I laid dying
my blood sister would not come to see me first time in hospital
I miss hugs
food that melted in my mouth
now as tears pour from my dead heart
where did trust go
why is it
why was.it so easy for the lovitts and Mathis’s to believe such lies about someone who always gave all I had
Dan Eric my godson
how can America expect to survive
going to war when its so easy
to hate innocent
I am dead
lite is a memory
in mom’s kitchen
The little girl only kept around to make life better for the bullies. The little girl was ten now. The little dog was the result of my older half sisters second lie. When I went to school my dog casey watched me and smiled and the sad lonily odd girl knew that if she hurried through the day and came home Casey would run to meet her.
But last time Diana had visited Casey a pup , a golden lab lopped over and knocked Diana’s little boy over. Diana brought Patches and the lie if mom did not take him and give away my Casey she would never ever bring Robbie back to see grandma. So Casey and I paid the piper after all it was just Val.
My niece Julianne Marie Cook Rose sells huge mining equipment in Texas, makes over 96000 ,her gay writer, aunt gets $671/month so when they all brag about Julie the aunt vanish into the woodwork.
Have not seen her probably since 1991. Funny how people come into your life and you love them white pure love . Then lies told from others to get their way . Then those innocent of the.lies who have.no money which means no voice , to fight lies that take your heart,
crushing your spirit.
How will you ever really know you are dead.
Vision of White wolves
2013 I was sitting by the gate at our family cabin and I was blessed it stopped me from crying two white wolves circled moms Cadillac all I saw were two tails. I had not come out of a dream since my vision quest in 1994 in the Black hills.
Story of perfect New Years Eve’s party
2001 and 2
Sexual abuse coukd also be a fine mess. I was raped at 17,had a Army recruiter play Mr. touchy feely,no one seemed to know No! Head of personnel now GM at Mt.Rushmore Russ Jobman use intimidation when one of tbe Leads(me) in Fudge and ice cream put in our two weeks: after having all my co workers bet how long it would take my gay friends to ‘Turn me Gay!’
Reverse discrimination by a lesbian manager in a field in an industry I excelled at while working and living in the Shenandoah National Park working for Aramark. Jeanette took my future with the company because I tried to be nice with the woman she called a trophy! No woman is a prize if they love you they are a blessing.
New Years Eve 2018
PBS has Lincoln Center Musical with awesome singing except for not being in Singers Glen in Bob Greens home,a huge Victorian’ New Years Eve party. Memories are grand and lonely bits of puff
Called mom this afternoon. Diana my half sister the Heike family Trump after our fire in December 2014 most of the stuff was stored asst Ellen Heike Mathis was told to sell it all. Mom was never returning to Iowa. This was not a choice of mom . Mom NEVER WANTED TO GO TO TEXAS OR TO LIVE WITH DIANA? But in life the world has always encompassed her wants and needs. So younger sister took what she wanted and no one.told me. Mom’s China that was to be mine. All the silverware all the antiques.
Still Diana wants more. Ellen and mom both told mom We don’t have it Val has everything you want Val took.
The old clock that is over 100 years old that came from Germany I rescues and gave it to me youngest beautiful scare of his mom nephew Craig Ryan Mathis.
my moms biggest thrill
my greatest feel
the last two years
moms keeper would not allow her to buy gifts
Marian Heike Christmas is all about love
warmth from pure love
that’s the only message
of a Rabbis birth so long ago
man has adorn other things
to the pagan symbol
a simple tree
but no matter how you look at
how a tree is decorated
can always be found
unadorned on a mother’s face
from a simple gift
box tied with a bow
full of love
I have a cousin buried in Gary. My aunt Clarian had three boys. Clarian’s little girl she wanted so much was not discovered to be no longer living until my aunt became deathly ill. My uncle Bud had to find a coffin babies born to term have ti get buried in a coffin. I always felt for bad for my aunt Clarian Lovitt.
Clarians alive and well 93 years old in Spencer,IA.
Friend to some
not to me
Chiropractor 40 years
had a family
not a family man
not a dad to me
loved mother nature,mom,my kid sister Ellen
I wrote him a letter in the nursing home
he never read it
mom stood with me and near me at times but moms voice was Always silent when dad and Diana bullied
dad stood up to my nephews twice after they used harsh thoughts
words like acid ti an aunt and godmothers heart
once Diana’s eldest son
once my Dan
call me cheap
all I had I spent on my nephews
quick and sharp
sheepishly begged my forgiveness
mom always says
‘I might forget but never forgive!
with tear in my eye
it’s like the years melt away
their words engraved
within my heart
funny that was the first of two times
their actions caused me innocent
Funny Abuse/ bullying lives and survives fire. Why is that? No one cared all the horrors mom and I endure and moms cats.
Writers I want to sell every gory detail of what Diana and then her son assisted with Please help me?
Mothers should NEVER be harrassed and bullied If your mom still intelligent and alive says NO DO NOT HARASSING THEM ON THE PHONE,LIE YOUR HALF SISTER WHO IS GAY ONTO ELDER ABUSE(THAT’S A HATE CRIME.) Then verbally assault your 80ish mom telling her at top of lungs You do not need doors that lock You have NOTHING OF VALUE’ Thats what Diana Lee did before she drove to the house December 3rd,walked in the front door and started the laundry room on fire. Walked out ! Drove to a neighboring town to await the phone call about the fire she set!