Ellen Mathis

Little blue dress

Playing chinese jumprope

Singing playing player piano

Blackbird,blackbird

Ridolph the reindeer coming from the cabin Cub Lake

I in my canoe middle of lake

Ellen in her blue jeans

Blue eyed orange tee shirt

Jingle bells

My blood sister

Pals with the monster in our family

Val’s good for a laugh at her expense

I looked for hours one day no cousins or Ellen could I find

Just outside the kitched door

A row boat dads was fiberglassing

Mom and Wava no one knew where those I loved hid

Under the boat

I never once looked!

Even my friend Kris thought it was

A hoot!

I climbed to the tree house and cried

Why no one bothered to notice my heart I wore on my sleeve.

2005 lost my home in Luray VA

All gays did their our American laws didn’t care LGBTQ not covered under our laws.

It wasn’t so bad it meant family gatherings at Ellens home

Being there for mom again.

Mom and I and Ellen are products of verbal abuse by an alcoholic.

I looked for years for a probono attorney

My name was alwats so dear to me

Diana Lee Dudley of Granbury Texas worked 2.6 years to force our mom from her home to be used by her.

Diana could not allow my mom Marian Heike to change her power of attorney.

Mom lived in fear of Diana.

No one cared but me.

No one cared.

I’m sorry mom, I could find no one to listen to the truth of what that white trash did us.

Write your stories!

When we are dust and this happens to you. It might feel too late.

Narcississ are as powerful as hitler.

Closeness of red

People say when they know you hurt

Don’t look at me, I can’t tak to them

Them my blood and kin

You need to let thrm go

They your kid dont get it

They your kid don’t see your pain

I picture the old movie ‘Godfather’

I just learnedmy godson got married 19 miles away

No aunt val was there

No aunt val was invited

I never harmer anyone

I held daniel my only godson

His smile was mine

When he loved my dog I baised in the glow of their perfect love

Five years old 1994 mom and dad and dan came to Mt.Rushmore to see me my first summer contract worker.

My heart siared my mom and my boy were with me

I won’t throw them or my love for them away

I was throne out

My youngest nephews saw I was Gay before I came out

Why could they not see my innocence of my sisters filthy lies

My heart feels like an open wound

First to learn last December of my favorite aunts death

Today to learn of my god sons wedding

Not to be invited

Invited or not I hate those gatherings

Not to be told

Not to be defended

My blood burns

Liquid salt

Move on my friend says

My friend who is rich in her family

Daniel Eric Mathis

Looked like Harry Potter when young

Been four years

I hate Iowa

I hate those I love sucking at the tets of a woman five husbands all divoced

She took my best friend, my mom,

My sister Ellen Beth Heike Mathis of Waukon,Iowa I worry so of her

Alcoholic afraid coward

No one to even tell me if my moms alive

Mrs L.N.Heike(Marian D. Bittenger Heike)

Diana Dudley my murder

Changed moms name

Gaslight my mom.

What worth is life without love?

People with strong families

No venom

No snakes they will never know my pain

Forget my family

Forget would be like forgetting scares

How do I forget?

To many memories filled with my pure heart full of love.

Lies cut my bloodless corpse

Forget not enough time in a lifetime